boys, anger, and buddhism
10:02 p.m. & April 23, 2005

listening to-helena by my chemical romance

boys are fucking retarded. if you already DIDN'T know.

well i had this nice long winded explanation on why i'm doing research on buddhism, but yeah, i'm pretty sure i really don't need that right now.

i'm not even "with" josh, we're not technically "together", but still i get angry when i catch him doing something [nothing huge, don't worry]. just stupid little things, that bother me, that shouldn't. we're not together. but every way we act, the time we spend together. we might as well be.

i'm so confused, so angry, so disappointed, so lost, so fustrated.

i keep thinking i'm going to find happiness in someone else. that if i have this person in my life, or that person in my life, my life itself will get better. i don't want that outlook anymore. i don't want to think like that.

i want to let things go that i've been carrying around for years. i want to let it all go. i don't want to worry about stupid trivial bullshit.

well ok, i guess i decided to give a somewhat long winded explanation on why i think buddhism might be the right thing for me.

future buddhist?
dani

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