feeling slightly out of place here...
8:31 p.m. & May 24, 2005

listening to: the district... by the postal service

ugh, can you really be ok and happy if all the people you love live far away? is it truly possible?

i'm starting to wonder...

i mean my parents have lived far away for....4 years now. so i'm pretty adjusted to that. as much as i can be. i try and not think about missing my mom. its funny, because my sister lives in the same town as my mom does, but my mom and i are closer. we talk every day. so i think there is a myth about having to be close to someone physically in order to be close with them emotionally.

its a lie....you can do it...i'm proof...

misti being gone on the other hand. is a daily struggle. its so hard to say to myself every day, misti is gone, you can't just call her up and invite her over to dinner or ask if she wants to get a movie or wonder if she wants to go out to eat or whatever. you can't do that anymore danielle. and just thinking about that...upsets me...and i don't know why. it was just....losing a friend. i mean we talk almost....every day. but its just not the same at all. and i just wish....some reason in this town would pop up [other then my job that i like] and say, hey danielle stay here, don't leave, i don't want you to leave.

a new friend...finally dragging myself to an art class...whatever...i just...need someone to talk to in real life...not over the phone....only seeing them twice a month...a real live punch them in the arm friend. by the way, when i punch someone, that means i like them. :P

it just sucks...

and i wanted to write about this before i had a kahlua and cream. because i don't want to fall into the trap that is alcohol. i'm saving my drink later for when sex and the city comes on. think of it as a late night dessert, versus, god i need a fucking drink. because seriously....i don't want to be that girl...i seriously don't...

oh yeah, did i mention i didn't have a good day? lol, as if you couldn't already tell. it sucks to go to a job that you actually like, when you wait on a customer you aren't expecting them to be an asshole, thats always a good thing. that and i saw pictures of a guy i liked during my junior year, CRAZINESS. and yeah, he's still very hot.

bonus, working at a photo lab means i [at times] look through your pictures, yes i look at them! ha! and i like it. so :P

but anyways, yeah it sucks to feel completely...out of place at your work. all the ladies are over 30, if not older. and i'm not saying i hate them, i don't. i think all of the girls there are awesome. i think all of them are awesome and funny in their own unique way. and thats probably one of my best qualities, is that i find the best qualities in other people. even if they have qualities about them i may not like as much. but it sucks, because ALL of them have kids and i don't. and ALL of them are VERY religious. and i'm not. i'm a spiritual person and if anything, i'd get into buddhism. because its the only way of life i could see myself pursuing full force...

it just sucks to feel out of place at work, the place your at 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. and the thing is, my work is seperated into 2 sections, and there are the girls in the lab and the guys on the other side. it sucks, because i'd probably have more in common with the guys, and i barely talk to them. bleh....

well a half hour till sex and teh city and my yummy drink. i do feel better.....

dani

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